Buffy came home later that afternoon to an empty house. Dawn had been packed up and sent off, with a huge grin on her face. Buffy was excited for her sister, and had made her promise to bring back many presents. Buffy put on a happy face as she waved Dawn off to London, but it was all a façade.

She made her way into the kitchen to pour herself some juice when she noticed the light blinking on her answering machine indicating she had a message. She clicked the button to play while she grabbed a glass out of the cabinet, and almost dropped the glass when she heard his voice wash over her from the machine.

“Um, hullo, Buffy. It’s Giles here. Obviously. I hope you get this message soon. Xander is here. It appears that Willow is missing, and we need your help. Please call me. “ He left his phone number and then after a pause, added, “I hope you are well, Buffy. The last was said in a quiet and sad voice. It made Buffy’s heart clench in her chest. He sounded so lost, and not like the Giles she knew at all.

“Oh no, Willow is missing.” She slammed the glass down on the counter and quickly picked up the phone, dialing Giles’s number rapidly from memory. She may not have phoned him often, but his number was not one she’d forget.

The phone rang, and rang. With every ring, her heart beat ceased to pump. Finally he picked up the phone. It had only taken three rings, but to Buffy, it had seemed like years.

“Hello?” Giles voice came and flooded her senses. She sunk to her knees on the kitchen floor and squeezed her eyes shut.

“Giles, it’s me.” It’s all she could get out in that moment.

“Buffy.” Giles said her name with relief as well as concern. He saw Xander jump in his seat on the sofa and gave the young man a small smile before standing and taking his cordless phone into the other room. He found himself wanting some privacy, even though it was Xander’s visit that had provoked this moment.

“I got your message. Giles, what’s happened? Willow is missing?”

Giles back tracked and explained to Buffy the events of the past few days. He told her how Xander had shown up on his doorstep because of Willow’s spell, only she was supposed to have been teleported there as well. He told her his previous phone calls had come up with nothing. “We need to find her, Buffy.”

“Of course we do!” Buffy wanted to scream at him. So, she was his last resort? He had called everyone but her, until now. She didn’t though. Yelling at him now would prove nothing, and solve nothing. It wouldn’t get Willow back any faster. Buffy had matured, even surprising herself.

“I’ll go to Africa. Dawn is gone with some friends for a week anyway, so I have some time. I can leave tonight.”

“No, Buffy. I mean, we will go to Africa. I can’t let you go alone. Besides, I can’t just sit here. I have to do something.”

Buffy was quiet for a moment, contemplating being with Giles again. She’d do anything for Willow. “Okay, Giles.”

“I’ll make arrangements right away and can meet you in London tomorrow morning. I can book us two tickets to Africa.”

“Three tickets!” Giles turned to find Xander standing in the doorway to his room, holding three fingers up in the air, a snarl on his face. So much for privacy. He frowned but then gave Xander a nod. “Three tickets. I suppose we should all go as if we are some friends going on safari? I‘ll make sure we have the appropriate gear waiting for us.”

Buffy smiled on her end of the phone. She had heard Xander’s vehement demand, and she also recalled how Giles packed. This might prove interesting to say the least.

“Right then. It sounds like a solid plan. I’ll clear some things up on my end and meet you both at Heathrow in the morning.”

“Alright, and Buffy?” Giles gripped the phone tightly in his hand. Xander could see that his knuckles had turned white. Giles had turned his back to Xander, and was speaking in quiet tones. Xander ducked out of the room to let Giles say what he had to say in privacy.

“Yes?” Buffy was still crouched on her kitchen floor, her eyes still closed as his soothing voice flowed over the telephone lines.

He wanted to say he was sorry. He was sorry for so much. The words were too much, and yet, not enough. He wanted to say he missed her, but even that was inadequate compared to the crack that was in his heart due to her absence. He wanted to say he loved her. But those words sounded so tiny to his own ears.

Finally he settled on, “Thank you.”

Buffy wondered what he was thanking her for. She started to get upset again. A knot formed in her stomach. The emotions of pain and anger and betrayal were all coming back. He hadn’t said he missed her. He hadn’t said he was sorry. There was no way she was saying either of those things either.

“See ya.” She said, and abruptly hung up the phone.

The tears flowed. Her silent crying turned into wracking sobs. How had her life come to this? How had she ended up so alone and afraid? The one man that she trusted beyond all others, the one man that was her other half, had torn her heart out and ripped it into a million pieces. Yet Giles didn’t even have a clue. She’d never tell him either. She’d lost enough. She wouldn’t lose her dignity as well.

Buffy wiped her eyes and got slowly to her feet. It was obvious that he didn’t need her, so she would resolve to herself to not need him either. Not again, and not ever.

Willow needed her now. Willow was what mattered. Her relationship with Giles was dust, but perhaps she could re-build her and Willow and Xander’s friendships. Buffy decided to focus on finding Willow, and blot out everything else.

Xander hadn’t heard Giles voice coming out of the other room for quite some time. He finally decided to peek his head back in. He saw that Giles was sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands. The phone lay on the cushion beside him.

Xander slowly walked into the room and sat down across from Giles. “We’ll get Willow back, Giles. Don’t worry.” His voice was quiet but firm. He was startled to realize that Giles had been crying. The older man placed his palms in his eyes and rubbed before putting his glasses back on. He wasn’t crying because of Willow, but Xander didn’t need to know that.

“Yes, Xander. We will.”

* * *

Buffy couldn’t hold back the grin as she saw the two men lugging all that baggage up to the front counter. She had already checked in her few bags and was sitting just outside the lobby area waiting. They heard her familiar giggle right away.

“A little help here would be nice.” Xander whined, pulling along one bag on wheels, another two bags strapped over his shoulder, and a fourth bag held precariously under his arm.

“Xander!” Buffy ran up and gave him a big hug, bags and all. He blushed but couldn’t move underneath all that luggage and the crushing power of a slayer hug. “Buffy? Can’t breathe.” He gasped out.

“Oh, sorry Xan.” She released him and took the bag under his arm, and the two shoulder strap bags. This left him with just the one bag on wheels.

“Hello, Buffy.” Giles had stood back and watched the scene, trying to be unobtrusive. His heart was in his throat at the sight of Buffy. She looked more beautiful than ever to him, if that was even possible. Her honey colored hair was pulled back with a yellow ribbon, and she seemed more fit than ever. She wasn’t the sickly thin and bones he had remembered, and her skin was nice and tanned.

Buffy looked over Xander’s shoulder to the tall man standing there. He looked tired. There was a brief light in his eyes though as he smiled at her. It was that small smile that always made her heart jump just a little in her chest. She nodded at him. “Hey, Giles.” He was piled on with luggage too, and they slowly made their way to the ticket counter so Giles could check the luggage.

“Are you okay?” She leaned against Xander’s side, talking softly in his ear. Xander looked the worse for wear. His hair was practically standing on end, and his face showed fatigue. He had worry lines around his one good eye and he seemed to be wearing a permanent frown.

“I’m scared, Buff. I don’t know who has Willow, or why.”

“We’ll get her back. That’s what we do.”

He looked down at her and a small smile formed on his face. “It is, isn’t it?”

It took them forever to get through customs. Buffy was unlucky enough to get put in the line where she had to take off her shoes and socks. She didn’t set off any alarms. All her weapons were stashed in her suitcase, and looked harmless enough. Wooden stake? No worries. Anything else they’d need Giles could get for them once they arrived in Africa. Watchers seemed to have connections in every corner of the globe, even now days.

Finally they were settled in their seats on the plane. Giles took the aisle seat so that he could stretch out his long legs, and Xander had begged for the window seat. Buffy didn’t mind. She sat between the both of them easily. Sometimes it was good to be small.

Giles grumbled something about hating airplanes and then banged his knee on someone’s carry on bag as they walked by. “Damn it!” Buffy giggled, and he turned and gave her one of his patented glares. Then he relaxed and returned her smile. His eyes lit up again, the green irises darkening and swirling. Buffy lost herself in them for a moment, until Xander’s elbow collided with her side. “Ouch. Hey, watch it Xander!”

“Sorry.” He had been grabbing for a magazine in the back of the chair in front of him, and finally settled on a hunting magazine. Buffy rolled her eyes and settled back in her seat. Giles sighed, the moment forgotten. He would just have to relish her sitting beside him for as long as he could. He rubbed at his knee and closed his eyes. When the plane took off awhile later, Buffy was asleep, leaning against Giles. He had his arm wrapped around her, lost in sleep himself. Xander flipped the pages of his magazine and glanced at his two friends sleeping beside him. They looked like they belonged together. He glanced out the window as the clouds dissipated, the plane climbing higher and higher. “Please, please let us find Willow.”

more to come