Chapter 18

Buffy dragged herself off the bus, squinting at the early morning sunrise. Her eyes were grainy from sleep, and her limbs were sore and tense from her uncomfortable position in the small and cramped bus seat. She waited in line for her one bag, reflecting on her dreams. "If that was my past," she thought, "then no wonder I forgot. And I'm not sure I want to remember." She brushed her blonde hair over her shoulder, then slung her bag up and slowly made her way out of the terminal.

Out on the sidewalk, she stopped and looked to the left, and then to the right, hesitant in which direction she should go. Across the street she noticed a newspaper and magazine kiosk, so she hurried over and began to thumb through one of the LA Times. There it was, her message in the personals. She hoped this would work, and bring her the man from her dreams. She felt so alone and lost. She hoped he would understand the message, because she didn't really understand it herself. But the words had come to her, and again, she decided to go with her instinct. So far, it hadn't let her down.

"Hey, Missy, you gonna pay for that?" The vendor glared at her.

Buffy might be alone, and she might be lost, but she felt the power coursing through her veins, and she felt no fear for this man. She returned his glare, shook her head, and replaced the newspaper. Then she gave the man a wink, and sauntered off down the sidewalk. He flung up his hands in exasperation. "Women!" he exclaimed, as he straightened up the paper rack.

Buffy might have looked self-assured to the vendor, but inside, she was everything but. Butterflies had taken up permanent residence in her stomach, and her head ached as visions continued to pulse in her brain. The images were all disconnected, and nothing made sense to her. She tried to concentrate on the memory of that man's expressive face, the one she thought was her "Watcher." Only then did she feel some sort of calmness creep into her haggard body and mind. She hoped he had the answers.

As she walked down the city streets, she kept a watchful eye out at all times for Fox or any of his buddies. She knew she could be being kept under surveillance, so she tried to keep to the shadows, and crossed the various streets often. Buffy would also pop in and out of various stores pretending to window shop, just hoping that if she was being tailed, or had been spotted, that she could shake them off. She figured if she had been found, they probably would have snatched her up by now. She also hoped she was most likely being paranoid. No one knew where she had gone. But if she was correct in her vague memory that this city was a home to her, then it was rational to believe that her enemies knew that too, and would be looking for her here. It was better to be safe and careful.

She wasn't sure where she was going, but she knew where she was headed. When she noticed a library on the corner, she ran in and asked for directions. Soon she was on her way, more cautious than ever.

Back at Wolfram and Hart, Fred was startled when the door to her lab was flung open. Giles stormed in, angrier then she had ever seen another human being. The look in his eyes chilled her to the bone. "Mr. Gil..?" "Where is he?" Giles yelled at her before she could finish her question.

"Who?"

"Spike!" Giles spat the vampire's name out with venom. Giles stalked around the room, looking for his prey.

"What's wrong, Mr. Giles?"

"That's no concern of yours. I need to find Spike. Is he here?"

Fred shook her head. "No, he walked me up, but then he left. He said he needed to roam for a while. I don't know where he is. Truly."

Giles studied the scientist's face momentarily, and then decided she was telling the truth. His clenched hand within his jacket pocket relaxed some, and the glint in his eyes faded, but didn't leave entirely. Ripper was still there, beneath the surface, and Giles wanted to keep him there.

"I'm sorry, Fred. I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll look elsewhere." Without another word, Giles turned and left the lab, leaving a frightened Fred behind.

On the way down the stairs, Giles ran into Angel. The vampire was blocking his path. "Giles, you didn't?" Angel couldn't finish the sentence.

Giles just glared at him, then shook his head. Angel sighed in relief, but why, he wasn't quite sure. "Giles, I know you are upset, but Buffy…she wouldn't want this. You know that."

"I have to keep her safe, Angel. I won't fail her again. It's for her own good."

"You know she would never forgive you." Angel pressed Giles further.

Giles eyes darkened in momentary grief, and he bent his head. "Maybe not, but she'd be safe, and that matters more."

Angel grabbed the Watcher by the shoulders, making him look at his face. "We don't know that she is in danger from Spike, and even if we did….even if you do this, it won't keep Buffy safe. There is always darkness, and always evil, and there always will be. We fight beside her, and not against her or her wishes. You should know that more than any of us."

Angel felt Giles' tense muscles begin to relax under his grip. "Giles, one of the hardest things in my life to do, was to leave Buffy. But it was the right choice for her. And then, when I came to Sunnydale to help her fight the First, she asked me to leave. That was even harder, knowing I was leaving her there to fight without my help. But I did as she asked, because she was right. I needed to be here, to fight for her here. And, as it turns out, she was right about Spike, no matter how much you and I thought different. It seems to me, when we fight together, we are all stronger. There is nothing we can't face, together. Don't do this, because then Buffy won't have you any longer. And she needs you, perhaps now more than ever."

"Nothing we can't face together? Ah, bloody hell, you two aren't about to burst into song again, are you?"

Angel and Giles turned to see Spike approaching them from the steps below. Giles fiercely gripped the stake in his jacket pocket, and pulled it out. When Spike saw that the Watcher's knuckles were tense and white around the wood, he wavered back a step, as did Angel. Without taking his Ripper glare off of Spike, Giles turned the stake point down, and handed it to Angel. Angel tentatively took the weapon. Then, in a blur, Giles thrust out his fist and smashed it into Spike's jaw. The bleached vampire fell down the stairs, doing several somersaults. Giles hastily ran down the stairwell, leaned over Spike, and with gritted teeth explained, "If you ever hurt Buffy again, I will stake you."

Spike looked up into the Watcher's eyes. "I'm not the one that can hurt her now, mate. I'm not the one she loves. But I can promise you, I will never give you cause to doubt me again. Never. I swear it upon my freshly burnt out soul." He weakly smiled at the Watcher.

Giles hesitated, not releasing Spike for a moment more. Finally, Giles offered his hand down to Spike, helping him up.

"I hate to break up this tearful reunion, my peaches, but I think I found something." Lorne smiled up at the trio, a newspaper in his hand. He winked at Angel, and handed the paper to Giles. Spike inspected and dusted off his leather duster.

The LA Times was turned to the personals, and Lorne pointed at the particular one of interest. All it said was, "The Hyperion needs a Watcher. Please come."

"That's our old digs, Angelcakes, so I'm thinking it might have something to do with your missing muffin," Lorne said.

Giles read and re-read the ad. Could it be her? He had to know. "I think we should check it out, Angel."

Angel nodded his agreement. "I'm coming too." Spike stated. The other two looked at his determined expression. Angel deferred to Giles, and the Watcher nodded his assent.

"I'll drive. We'll need to take one of my cars anyway, for protection from the sun." Angel led the way to the garage.

What a trio they were, Angel thought. Two ensouled vampires and a watcher, all in love with a slayer. He shook his head and smiled to himself. He wondered what Whistler and Doyle would think of what had become of him. And it didn't surprise him at all that Buffy would choose Giles over them. They didn't deserve her, and Giles did. It hurt for him to realize this, yet he was also proud of her. This was right. If it couldn't be himself, he would rather it be Giles. The thought of her in Spike's arms…well, Angel didn't even like to contemplate that. Buffy and Giles, however, was what was meant to be. This was her destiny. Now, if only she could remember that!

Chapter 19

Home