Rating: Probably, eventually, NC17, but G for now

Summary: Buffy finds out that Spike is back.

Spoilers: Chosen, and Angel 5:8 Destiny

Disclaimer: We all know none of it is mine. Please don’t sue me, Joss or ME!

Feedback welcome: Ladyforash@aol.com

Started: 11-04-2003

Chapter 1

Willow hung up the phone in shock. She sat there for a moment, a glazed expression on her face. If approached from behind, it would appear as if she was gazing out her bedroom window at the scenic English countryside. Rain was softly falling onto the rolling green hills. But Willow saw none of that. Finally, after shaking her head to try and organize her thoughts, she climbed off of her bed and set the cordless phone back on her nightstand.

She had to tell Buffy.

Buffy was going to be royally ticked off, and Willow was afraid she might try and hurt the messenger. But Willow was never good at keeping secrets, especially from any of the Scoobies. And this was something that Buffy needed to know.

Willow closed her bedroom door and quietly walked down the hallway towards the front door. She heard Xander and Andrew in the kitchen, arguing over what kind of cookie was the best. She didn’t stop to add her two cents in, however. She hardly heard them, and they were so engrossed in their argument that they didn’t notice her swiftly walk past them and out the front door.

The rain fell gently on her head, but she shrugged it off, distracted in her thoughts. She should have grabbed one of the umbrellas that Giles always left for them in an old dynamite box by the front door. She hurried her way into the barn to find Buffy.

Buffy was combing one of the horses. Willow was amazed and amused how quickly Buffy had taken to the horses. Willow was scared of them herself, not even getting behind Giles on his big palomino. Buffy had climbed up straight away that first afternoon, bliss on her face as Giles galloped the horse all around the front field. Soon, Buffy was riding her own horse, a smaller white pony named Star. Star was the horse getting all of Buffy’s attention at the moment, as she combed out the burrs and grass out of Star’s tail.

“Hey, Buffy.” Willow greeted her friend.

Buffy looked over her shoulder at Willow and smiled, but didn’t stop combing the horse’s coat. “Hey, Will. What’s up? How are things in LA? Did you get the information you needed on that book?”

Willow leaned against the fence, gripping the cold wood between her fingers, watching Buffy’s hands in slow motion. “Yeah. I talked to Wes.”

Buffy finished brushing Star and walked over to return the comb to the shelf that held all of the riding equipment. Willow didn’t understand what half of it was for, even though Giles had carefully instructed them all on each and every piece. Buffy sat down on the bench, all of her attention now on Willow.

“Okay, Willow. Spill it. You’ve got that look about you, so you might as well tell me and get it over with. Please just promise me it isn’t anything apocalyptic, because I’m so not in the mood.”

Willow nodded. “No. Not apocalyptic.” She turned around, leaning her back against the fence now so she could face Buffy. She was wringing her hands, and Buffy narrowed her eyes at her. “Spill, Will,” Buffy commanded.

Willow sighed, and blew out her breath. She looked around to see if they were as alone as they seemed. All she saw were the horses in their stalls, safe and covered from the English rain. “Where’s Giles?” she asked.

“He’s at the Coven. Faith phoned earlier from Cleveland, needing some research help.”

“Oh.”

There was silence for a moment, and then Willow burst forth with her news. “Okay, first off, I know this is going to make you mad that no one phoned and told you earlier, but please don’t get too upset. I mean, you have a right to get upset, but I’m just the messenger, remember?”

Now Buffy became truly nervous. She stood up and faced her friend. “What is it? Is it Angel? Has he been hurt? Or did you hear from Dad and Dawn’s hurt?”

Willow shook her head. “No, nothing like that. I mean, I haven’t heard from Dawn. And Angel is fine.”

Buffy wanted to shake Willow. “Then what is it?”

Willow locked eyes with Buffy. “Wes told me that Spike is there, with them. That he’s alive. Sort of.”

Buffy went blank. Willow was afraid she had stopped breathing. “Buffy?”

“What did you say?”

“I said that Spike is alive. I mean, he’s a ghost, or something. Wes had a hard time explaining it. But basically, Spike is back. And he’s in LA with them.” Willow tried to explain to Buffy everything she had learned from the phone call to LA to the best of her ability, but as she had said, Wesley’s explanations and declarations had truly been confusing.

Buffy looked at Willow in a rage, and then calmly asked, “Is there anything else I should know?”

Willow shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

Buffy stormed off. Willow noticed that she didn’t go into the house, but past it and into the woods, running down one of the trails she often used to ride Star on. Willow bit her fingernails for a moment, and then breathed a sigh of relief that Buffy had left her in one piece. She made her way back into the house, and joined Xander and Andrew in the great cookie debate. But she kept the LA news to herself for now. When it was time, Buffy would let them know.

The rain finally stopped falling as Buffy made her way down one of the many riding trails in the woods on Giles’ property. She had stopped running, and was now walking aimlessly along. Her mind was swirling with different thoughts and images. She kept seeing Spike on fire before her. She saw Sunnydale implode, leaving nothing but a gaping maw where the town once stood. She saw Giles throw stones into the crater, asking, “What caused this?” And she had said, “Spike.”

How could he have survived? And what did that mean? And how long had he been in LA? Her pace quickened as the anger began to simmer within her again. She and the gang had been here in Bath with Giles getting some much needed rest for several months now. It was truly the first vacation they had ever had together, and their first trip to see Giles’ home in England. Vacation was really not the proper word for it, however, especially for Giles and Willow. They worked constantly, doing research and trying to find and gather up any surviving Watchers. Faith, Wood, and Kennedy had decided to go to Cleveland after all, and started a “Slayer Central” there, with which Giles and Willow were a major factor here in England in support and information. There was plenty of work for them all.

Buffy had stayed out of a lot of it, however. Faith took the lead in training and maintaining all the new slayers. Buffy was unofficially retired, and all agreed that she should take as much time as was needed to just be herself, rest, and find what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. It had been several months of being responsibility free in Buffy’s life, and she was really enjoying living again for the first time. Never before had she not had to place duty and “calling” ahead of her own needs. She knew it wouldn’t last. She had already decided to help Giles and Willow in any way they needed, and was going to tell them her vacation time was over and to put her to work soon. But now this message from LA.

Angel should have told her. Why didn’t he? And how many weeks now had passed while Buffy sat over here, remembering what Spike had done for them all. And he wasn’t gone. Or why didn’t Spike let her know himself? Was he really a ghost?

She sighed heavily as she came out of the woods and onto the gravel driveway that wound for a mile up the hill to Giles’ house. So lost in her thoughts was she that she didn’t even notice the car pull up beside her until the passenger side window came down, and Giles soft, pleasant voice woke her from her reverie. “Buffy?”

She stopped suddenly, bent down into the car, and smiled at her friend. “Hi Giles.”

He looked at her with concern. Something had happened, he was sure of it. “Want a ride back to the house?”

She smiled as she got in the car, and he put the gear back into drive, slowly making their way up the road.

These last few months had really been healing for Buffy and Giles’ relationship. He knew that something was on her mind, but he waited patiently for her to tell him. He knew not to press her, and she would tell him in time. It didn’t take her long.

“Spike’s alive.”

He slammed on the brakes, turning to her in shock. “What?”

She looked back at him with a frown on her face. “How?” he asked.

Buffy shrugged. “I don’t know, and I don’t know when. I don’t know anything except what Willow told me awhile ago.”

Giles remembered that Willow was going to phone LA today about a book they needed referenced. She must have learned something from that. He shut the engine off in the car and turned to her, giving his full attention to his slayer. He quirked his eyebrow at her, motioning her to go on.

Buffy told him everything that Willow had told her. “I don’t know why Angel didn’t tell us. I mean, you’d think he’d realize we’d want to know that Spike was alive. And that maybe we could help him in some way.”

Giles wondered whom Buffy wanted to help: Angel, Spike, or herself? But he kept those thoughts to himself. He gazed out the windshield in contemplation before turning back to Buffy. “What do you want to do, Buffy?”

It didn’t take her long to answer. “I need to go back to LA Giles. I need to see Spike for myself. And perhaps slay Angel for not telling me any of this.” Giles smiled at that comment, happy to see that Buffy still had her sense of humor intact. He started the car and began driving back to the house. “We’ll phone right away, and book you a flight. Do you want to go alone, or have someone go with you?”

Buffy knew that Giles and Willow had plenty of work here in Bath to take care of to support the Cleveland group. Xander really needed this time to heal after losing Anya, and he never cared for Angel or Spike much anyway. And Andrew? Please. No thought necessary there. “I think this is something I need to do on my own, Giles.” He nodded, promising to make the arrangements for her after supper.

Chapter 2